Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Change Is Good, Right?

So, I’m coming up on a birthday that ends in a zero. It’s the birthday that normally features black balloons. Soon I’ll be at the medical supply store picking up my walker and hearing aid. Kidding! I did start using one of those rubber thingies to open jars with but other than that, I’m in pretty good shape.

Anyway, with this birthday hanging over my head, I’ve decided to try something new once a month. That may not sound like a lot to you but if you’ve met me? I have some OCD issues. I don’t like change. I really, really don’t like new things. I like everything to be ordered and structured and the same. Forever and ever, Amen.

I read this article about brain age, how you can stay mentally young by doing new things and changing routines. Based on their quiz I am 2,273 years old. Impressive! I don’t want to spend the next few decades with my name sewn in my clothes, so I figured I’d try some things out. Some of the suggestions were goofy, like brushing your teeth left-handed for a month. Um, I’m also not so co-ordinated. I’m pretty sure if I tried that I would be brushing my hair with toothpaste and flossing my earlobes. Good times!

The first month I changed my morning beverage from hot water to green tea. Yes, hot water. With lemon. It’s motivational. Shut up! I would have my hot lemon water before my morning yoga so that I would have a peaceful start to my day. Anyway…there was a lot of trying out of the teas because tea is YUCK. Most teas taste like lawn clippings to me. (Sorry, tea people.) I finally found Tazo Zen tea, which is green tea with lemongrass. I LOVE lemongrass! We had some amazing Thai food last weekend and it was seasoned with lemongrass. So yummy! Here is a link: (for the tea). Wouldn't you like to try some? In the interest of full disclosure, I am not affiliated with Tazo in any way, I just enjoy their tea.

The tea thing went pretty well so the next change was: no morning yoga. Bye bye, Virabhadrasana Asana, Hello dog walking. My little bosses are very happy with this arrangement. They are able to pee on every blade of grass in a two mile radius, all before the sun comes up. I love watching the lights come on in the houses as people wake up. I also love peeping in the windows and checking out other people’s houses. I make up a whole story in my head about their lives. And I critique, because I love. They put the sofa in front of the fireplace, GAH! And, seriously, some blinds or shades are needed, people. If I ever spy you nekkid at the breakfast table we're gonna all need the paramedics. Overall, the walking thing is working pretty well and honestly? The morning yoga would sometimes make me fall asleep in a posture and wake up all pretzeley. Not missing that so much.

The next change has taken me almost two months. As soon as I get home from work (and after the dogs pee on everything again) (and after sweatpants) I like to sit on the couch and read. And I’m pretty happy just sitting there, reading, until someone jumps in my lap, yapping for dinner. I also fix something for the dogs.

But, no more! The new plan is to come home and exercise until the yapping for dinner starts. Then I get to read as a reward. The exercise is going well. I can squat 220. That’s not bad for an old lady, eh? The problem later is that I fall asleep while I’m reading. I wake up on the couch with my face in a book and smooshy eyeglasses. I’m 2,273 years old, right? So sometimes I'm reading and then exercising at pitch dark o’clock. I’m trying to get this month under control.

I can’t wait to see what I do next month. Maybe alphabetize my pantry? Stay tuned for the excitement.

This came to me in a chain email:

Five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


(Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons)


Let’s not forget.


Frosting mounded atop a cupcake

Inviting as a first kiss.

Some people are lickers

Dainty as butterflies lapping up nectar.

But I tumble

Intoxicated with desire for you

Yearning for you to fill me up.

I nibble the slightly crunchy outer ridge of icing

And smooth my lips over the moist creamy

Cupcake innards

With the intensity of a lover.

I am heady with the scent of you!


Exotic vanilla bean

And the undertow of dangerous dark chocolate.

For a moment

Time stands still.